I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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