What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
