It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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