i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We left the knife in your bed.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize