i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
