i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
