I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
