I murdered the dance floor call the cops
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize