so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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