doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
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I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
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Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
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