That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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