what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
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Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
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Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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