We're facebook friends in real life
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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