i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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