i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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