U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
