i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
