i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
