At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
