I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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