I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
