Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
