'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
it's great music for shaving your balls
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
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