I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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