So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
