If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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