Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
