im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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