Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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