seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Randomize
