When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
