College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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