she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
