Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
