So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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