never play flip cup with pint glasses
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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