I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
