well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
