I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
