you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
