I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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