I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
