if you like me you must not know who I am
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
