Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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