6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
