I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
