Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
nut hugger
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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