please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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