yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
