Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Randomize
