My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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