Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
