hotel room ftw
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
