I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
