# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Randomize
