so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
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Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
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He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
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