My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
