dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
