Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.

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(319): View more from Iowa

I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.

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(682): View more from Texas

Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(630): View more from Illinois

I won't apologize to a one balled man

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(914): View more from New York

Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.

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(616): View more from Michigan

I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday

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(660): View more from Missouri

Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before

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