all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
