Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION