I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.