If i come over, it means nothing
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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