420 ftw
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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