I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
