So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
