i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
