remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
im six kinds of drunk right now
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
